Grateful for the F-Word

Feedback. For some people it’s the “F” word; they avoid it because they think it’s synonymous with “criticism and complaints”, but done right, constructive feedback is one of the most powerful gifts we can give or receive.

Did you know that feedback is the shortest word in the English language containing the letters: abcdef? Even though feedback contains the six first building blocks of our entire communication system, there is nothing elementary about it. Change Management Consultant Rick Maurer said: “We believe we do a better job at giving feedback than we really do.” I think he’s right.

Inspired by a recent read, The Nordstrom Way to Customer Service Excellence: The Handbook For Becoming the “Nordstrom” of Your Industry, I’ve been exploring my own feedback skills and working on improving our internal feedback process to make it even stronger.

Your comments on these weekly Thought for the Weekend installments mean a lot. I’m grateful for every reply I get, but when it comes to feedback, there is one reader who undoubtedly wins the prize for Reader of the Year.

At the beginning of the year, Warren sent an email that simply said: “Thanks for the weekly thoughts.” We had a brief email conversation where I learned that he and his wife had just hosted a party for their 9-year-old’s birthday. He wrote: “24 girls at the house for a “spa” party. What were we thinking?

Then, as the weeks passed, he continued to share his thoughts. When I told a joke about a wife crocheted and sold doilies every time she was mad at her husband, he replied: “There must be a fortune stashed somewhere in my house. 21 years yesterday.” When Mary confessed to an embarrassing moment and a tendency toward being a klutz, Warren humorously replied: “The first step, is admitting that you have a problem. On to step two.” Our recent list of over-inflated job titles prompted him to share: “I was an automobile relocation engineer (valet) for a summer during college.

Because Warren had been consistently engaging in feedback, we knew he was sharing constructive feedback (and not criticism) when he pointed out an email that contained a couple of errors. He’s a model for Seth Godin’s Rules for Giving Great Feedback:

  • No one cares about your opinion. We want your analysis.
  • Say the right thing at the right time.
  • If you have something nice to say, please say it.
  • Give me feedback, no matter what.

Here are some of my favorite quotes on feedback:

  • The road to self-insight runs through other people. ~ David Dunning
  • Feedback is the breakfast of champions. ~ Ken Blanchard
  • Most importantly, if you’re going to ask (for feedback), be ready to change.~ David Maister
  • Champions know that success is inevitable; that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. They know that the best way to forecast the future is to create it.~Michael J. Gelb

“Eat your Wheaties” this weekend.

~Bob