There I was sitting at a red light, with a 6-foot Power Ranger mannequin stuffed into my four-door Dodge Stratus sedan. His feet were touching the back window, his head butted against the front windshield, and his groin sat nearly parallel to my head.
Some people are lucky. Generally speaking, I’m not one of them. You see, whereas others win free trips to exotic countries, $500 from scratch-off lottery tickets, or even dinners for two at fancy restaurants, I managed to win a 6-foot Power Ranger.
Back in 2001, Toys R Us sponsored a giveaway contest in conjunction with the release of the new Ninja Storm series of Power Rangers. I dutifully filled out the entry form, and subsequently won the Grand Prize. A trip to Hollywood? A shopping spree at Toys R Us? No, sir! I won a 6-foot talking Power Ranger dressed in a Ninja Storm uniform.
The Power Ranger didn’t morph. Heck, he didn’t bend, meaning he couldn’t sit in the car and he certainly couldn’t chill on the sofa, drink a beer, and watch TV. In fact, this guy couldn’t even stand on his own two feet – he needed the help of a stand! The one thing he did brilliantly was scare the beejesus out of anyone who came to our house.
Walk by the Power Ranger standing in the corner and you’d set off his motion sensor. In a deep, creepy monotone voice, he would announce: “Power Ranger Ready!” We should have installed a video camera to capture all of the people who jumped and screamed when our Power Ranger surprised them. Maybe then, I could have won a real prize, like a $100,000 on America’s Funniest Home Videos!
After nearly fifteen years of moving that dead weight Power Ranger around the house (that durn thing was heavy!), I finally decided it was time to let him go. Four men in the house is more than enough, and quite frankly the Power Ranger felt like a fifth wheel. Don’t worry – we found him a great home. He was adopted by a family with small boys who are fascinated by the Power Rangers. Mr. Power Ranger has already presided over a birthday party, and he seems quite happy with his new family (not that you’d know it since he just continues to repeat “Power Ranger Ready!” in that same monotone voice.)
As for me, this weekend, I was much happier seeing superheroes where they belong-on the big screen, and not in my house. As is tradition in our household, my boys and I attend the opening night of every Marvel Superheroes movie. We put on our favorite superhero t-shirts, bought some popcorn, and settled in for a screening of “The Avengers, Age of Ultron”. Thankfully, to my knowledge, there was no contest or giveaway affiliated with the movie. As much as I love Iron Man, I don’t want a six-foot replica of him living in my house!
Happy Monday,
Mary
P.S. What about you? Have you ever won a useless prize or received a huge gift that you felt obliged to keep for years? Tell us about it on our Facebook page.
