Don’t Get Smart with Me, Smartphone

Smartphone BathroomThings happen – getting a flat tire, waking up with a mystery rash, dropping your cell phone and shattering the screen. That’s pretty much what ‘A Day in the Life of Mary’ looked like earlier this month. Which one was the biggest emergency? Take a guess….

I don’t consider myself to be a cell phone junkie – I use my phone to check email on the go and keep in touch with my kids. And, yes, I confess, I also obsessively refresh when I need vital sports scores. In other words, I needed a new phone and I needed one fast.

They’re called smartphones because they can tell time, take photos, and receive emails, but how smart are they really? I’ll call it a smartphone, the day I lose it and it answers: “I’m over here on the couch, underneath your jacket!”

Then again, maybe we call them smartphones because they are smarter than most of the people who use them. Here are:

                      The Top Three Dumbest Things People Do with Their Smartphones:

Taking Your Smartphone with You to the Toilet: Okay. Let’s get clear. Unless you are accompanying a toddler, you should always go to the toilet alone! I cannot get over these people who actually answer their phones while they are in the bathroom! “Hello? Oh, hi Eric.” Flush……… “Can you hear me now?” Bad idea.

Furthermore, a survey revealed that one in five smartphone users have dropped their very expensive cell phones into the toilet. What the survey didn’t reveal was how many people fish them out! Ewwwww! Really, folks, there are times when you just shouldn’t multitask.

Smartphone BathroomMaking Your Smartphone the Center of Attention: I saw this great cartoon featuring a couple on a date. The guy is completely absorbed in his cell phone and the girl is asking: “Do you mind if I strap your cell phone to my forehead so I can at least pretend that you are looking at me when I talk?”

Don’t check your Facebook feed on dates; don’t play Candy Crush Saga at the movies; and please don’t check traffic apps while you’re driving! (Who came up with that brilliant idea anyway?? “Don’t text and drive, but please feel free to cause a new accident while checking the traffic app for accidents!”)

Faking Life with Your Smartphone Instead of Living It: Look at my #ootd (that’s “outfit of the day,” if you’re not in the know)! Look where I am right now (the toilet!). Look at me taking a selfie in the bathroom! I’m back at the table now; look at what I’m eating! Here’s a photo of me having a drink with my friends! Here’s what I wrote on the bottom of my restaurant receipt! I’m leaving the restaurant now. Look at me slamming into a telephone pole as I text while walking to my car!

Put down your phone and live a little this week – I’m going to try to do the same!

Happy Monday,