I’ve heard it said that bowling is the ideal sport because it is basically “an hour of drinking beer occasionally interrupted by six seconds of exercise.” That’s precisely how the entire Matchmaker Logistics team rolled when we recently gathered together in Wilmington for a Friday night outing at the bowling alley.
Accessible to folks of all ages, skill levels, and fitness levels, bowling is a simple game that provides hours of good, clean fun. And, we definitely had fun. Fueled by beer towers and laughter, I’m told that the team kept on going long after they tired this old man out. When I asked for details on Monday morning, I was told: “What happens at the bowling alley, stays at the bowling alley!” I left it there.
Since I’d rather not talk about my own bowling scores, let’s look at a few “famous” bowlers. Homer Simpson bowled a perfect 300 game. Al Bundy bowled. But I believe the world’s best fictional bowler was Fred Flinstone. Flintstone bowled on two teams: one for his work, The Slate Rock & Quarry Company; and one for his lodge, The Loyal Order of Water Buffalo. Fred loved to bowl so much, he and Barney once faked an illness to get out of taking their wives to see an opera, so they could join their bowling team for a night of fun instead. Since the “What happens…” slogan had yet to be invented, loose-lipped Barney gave away the night’s activities, getting the two into a heap of trouble.
He was so committed to his game, Fred even signed up for ballet lessons at the Bedrock Dance Academy after seeing a television commercial claiming that rhythm is “the secret of success in many activities, including bowling”. They didn’t call him “Twinkle Toes” for nothin’. Imagine bowling barefoot like Fred and approaching the lane on your tippy toes with a ball that is mostly square and sometimes disintegrates on the way to the pins. THAT is an uphill battle my friends, and proof that Fred Flinstone was a bowling god among prehistoric men.
Fred had one unforgettable catch phrase, but I bet he also incorporated a few of these winners into his bowling alley banter:
- Split happens
- But, no splits too wide if you’ve got the balls
- Bowling is a sport for people who have talent to spare
- Bowlers do it in alleys
- Hey, get your minds out of the gutter!
However you spend this weekend, I hope it will have you saying: “Yabba dabba doo!”,
~Bob
