The Shoppers of Wal-Mart

I hope you had a great Labor Day weekend. While many of us enjoyed a day off yesterday, those who work in retail, particularly those who work at 24/7 mega stores like Wal-Mart, weren’t so lucky. If you’re not one of the 9 million people who have already seen the video, watch The People of Wal-Mart to see what I mean….

In last week’s email, I included a diagram that detailed the different approach men and women take when charged with the same shopping mission. It is true that many men find shopping boring and prefer to “get in and get out”, whereas most women love to browse. Have you seen this “letter from Wal-Mart” about a husband who gets bored while waiting for his wife? It cracks me up! No wonder it’s also become an internet sensation:

Dear Mrs. Tinnon,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our fifteen (15) complaints against your husband, Mr. Tinnon, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, your husband began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 16: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 10: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack, and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN! And last, but not least:

15. October 29: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here!’ One of the clerks passed out.



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