Last fall we signed my youngest daughter up for “Little Kickers” soccer. She was three. It turned out to be a lot more crying and hanging on my leg than actually playing soccer. But since Chloe’s big sister, 9-year-old Emily, is quite the soccer player (she has a strong right foot and she even scored a goal in her own team’s match this weekend!), little Chloe wanted back in on the action this fall too. Week one, Chloe never stepped on the field. But this past week, she played the entire time with no tears…even when she fell on her face!
After the
game, Chloe was clearly quite proud of herself. I was even more proud of her attitude. She told me: “Even if you don’t score, you do your best and have fun!” Having coached my older daughter’s soccer team since she was five, I couldn’t have said it better. When I first started coaching, my little team was something akin to the Bad News Bears. We used to lose games with scores like 18-0, as I desperately tried to steer them toward the right goal.
Writer and cartoonist Adrienne Hedger knows exactly what I’m talking about. She coached her four-year-old in soccer too, which prompted her to wonder about the rules in the “The Four-Year-Old’s Guide to Soccer“, a universal playbook for all tiny soccer stars: Here are some of my favorites:
- The game begins with a kick-off. Once the ball is kicked off, all players must stand as still as statues. DO NOT make a move for the ball. Just let it roll to a stop, then stare at it. You will hear your coach and parents yelling, “KICK IT! SOMEONE KICK IT!” Ignore them.
- About four seconds into the game, announce that you need to go potty.
- Once the game is underway, players should travel around one tightly packed bunch. Do not fan out.
- If you are tired, lie down on the field. The game will continue around you.
If you see any of the following: butterfly, mushroom, ladybug, dandelion or similar miracle of nature, IMMEDIATELY STOP PLAYING! Thoroughly investigate the thing you found. Gather others around and share your discovery.- If you happen to run near your parents, stop and wave enthusiastically. Ask them if they are watching you. Ask them for a snack. Show them how you can do a somersault.
- In general, do not touch the ball. However, it IS okay to touch the ball if: a. It’s not rolling the direction you want; b. If you are close enough to throw the ball in a goal; c. You find the “no touch” rule irritating.
- Eventually you might feel like scoring a goal. Simply find the closest net and figure out a way to get the ball in there.
Keep your eye on the ball this weekend,
~Bob
