Camping: A Different Game of Thrones

Home Sweet Home in West Virginia

It’s been a busy morning. I’ve completed my duties as Camp Fry Cook responsible for cooking the big breakfast–homemade biscuits, sausage gravy, eggs, sausages, and bacon–that our entire family eats together before heading out into the woods. As you read these words, I’m most likely outfitted in my camo, crouching next to a tree with my rifle in hand. No, I haven’t gone postal. But, I have gone hunting.

Today marks the beginning of the two-week rifle hunting season in West Virginia. For the past several years, our entire family has spent Thanksgiving week on a piece of property where we keep multiple campers parked side by side under porch structures. This is my “Home Sweet Camping Home”. It has no electricity, no indoor plumbing, and it certainly isn’t equipped for cooking a traditional turkey dinner! It is, however, perfectly suited for good times, great memories, and a whole lot of family togetherness.

Of course, when it’s two a.m. and ten degrees outside, and I’m searching for my coat and a flashlight before heading out to the bathroom, I will confess that in that moment the camp experience doesn’t seem all that…ahem…’Charmin’. My mind wanders to the story of the Canadian man who was attacked by a bear that literally grabbed him from the ‘throne’. He was doing his business when a black bear barged in and attacked him, leaving him with scratches and a head puncture wound, before his friend came to his rescue and shot the animal.

Now we all know the answer to the question: “Does a bear s*it in the woods?” That gentleman could have avoided being the butt of many a joke, if only he’d followed the instructions in this classic camping song:

Don’t linger too long in the outhouse,

For there’s creatures that live in the hole.

When you’re work there is done,

Pull your pants up and run,

If you want to be savin’ your soul.


I haven’t had an encounter with a bear, but I was almost charged by a deer the first time I went hunting. (Ask me about it sometime!). Nobody won last year’s “pot” for bagging the biggest deer, which means that this year’s cash prize is going to be $160.00. I’ve told my husband we’re going to win that money. And, the first thing we’ll do is buy a lock for the outhouse!