This Sunday kicks off yet another Shark Week, which currently holds the honor of longest running event in cable television history. Originally broadcast in 1987 on the Discovery Channel, it was meant to raise awareness and respect for sharks. These days, between the memes, the over-the-top commercials, and the drinking games, Shark Week has become more spectacle than respectful.
Now, I love sharks just as much as the next person – in fact, the summer it was released, I went to see Jaws in the movie theater five times! – but even I have to ask: are we taking this shark thing too far? After 27 years of Shark Week, is it time to consider a more formidable foe? What about Spider Week, or Snake Week? Plenty of people are afraid of those creatures. And let’s face it – sharks aren’t as scary as they used to be. Did you know that sharks kill only five people a year? That’s not very impressive when you consider the fact that hippos kill 2,900, deer kill 130, and a grand total of 13 people meet their end each year thanks to vending machines. If sharks want to keep their week, they’re going to have to step it up.
We can’t blame it all on the sharks, though. They’ve got a lot working against them. First of all, sharks are easy to avoid – all you have to do is stay on land and you’re safe. Second, even the recent movies about them have an edge of desperation. Once upon a time, a single Great White Shark could strike fear into the hearts of men and children. Now, films have to stick sharks in tornadoes to achieve the same bone-chilling effect. You can bet Jaws is rolling over in his watery grave as we speak.
It seems I’m not the only one who’s wondering if this week has jumped the shark. Internet commentary is swimming with snark and it’s almost as entertaining as the actual event. Here are some of my favorite Shark Week tweets:
• Surprisingly enough, “Bring Your Shark to Work Day” is my boss’ least favorite part of Shark Week.
• I felt comfortable swimming in the ocean today because it’s Shark Week, so I know they’re all busy.
• To celebrate Shark Week, I’m taking my lawyer to lunch!
Even though I know sharks aren’t as scary as they seem, I’m still going to tune in to Shark Week this Sunday. I can’t help it. Ever since I was a little boy, carefully watching the surface of the lake for that telltale fin, I’ve regarded sharks with a mixture of fear and fascination. Judging by the lasting popularity of Shark Week, it seems I’m not the only one. Plus “Vending Machine Week” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
Sink your teeth into this weekend,
~Bob
