A recent Thought for the Weekend about Jean-Claude Van Damme was one of the most popular posts we’ve ever done! At first, I couldn’t figure out why everyone loved that post so much. Yes, that epic stunt of Van Damme doing the splits was cool, but was it that cool?
Then it hit me. As though it had back-flipped off of my desk and round-kicked me in the face. The post also featured the ultimate tough guy, Chuck Norris. A legend in the martial arts scene, Chuck has starred in nearly thirty films, and played the Ranger himself in the heavily syndicated eight-year run of Walker, Texas Ranger. Most of us know his work, but many of the younger folks might have never heard of him if not for his recent kick flip back into the spotlight via a series of hilarious internet in-jokes.
Apparently, the Chuck jokes date back to 2005 and the Texas Ranger himself seems to have a great sense of humor about them. Who would put a stop to these hilarious punchlines that highlight Norris’s martial arts strength and prowess? The message is simple: there’s no one who deals out more kicks per second or who does manly ‘cool’ better than him. Here are a few important facts* about Chuck Norris:
• Chuck Norris can put out a fire with a gallon of gasoline.
• Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
• Chuck can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
• Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
• Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest.
• When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.
• Big foot claims he saw Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
• Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
• Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
• Chuck Norris won the Tour de France, on a stationary bike.
• Chuck Norris doesn’t worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
And our favorite Superhero-themed one:
• Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Speaking of Superman, I’m feeling a little more buff and tough myself lately thanks to that new superhero avatar I’m sporting… Not that I didn’t love the cutesy Batman I had before, this new one’s got a little more of that Chuck Norris look, don’t you think? Now I just have to work on the beard.
Power kick your way through the weekend,
~Bob
*Facts about Chuck Norris may be slightly exaggerated for humorous effect.
P.S. Have you got a favorite Chuck Norris-ism? Share it with us on our Facebook page!
