If you’re a regular ‘Mary Monday’ reader, you know my sons are my world. And while my oldest, Denver, might be 17, he’s still a baby to me. There are some things I’m just not ready to handle. So when I walked past his room to find him on his bed, cooing sweet nothings into his phone, I panicked:
“I love you.”
“I think you’re sexy.”
“Will you marry me?”
No way, no how. I’m not ready to be anyone’s grandma! So, I had to enact that sovereign power of moms everywhere and bust into his room, demanding to know just who the heck was talking to! If he’s gonna run off and marry some high school hussie, I at least deserve to know who she is. The stereotype might typically involve dads protecting their daughters with a shotgun, but I’m a pretty good shot too, especially if it means protecting my precious boy.
“Mom!” He was looking at me in that way all 17-year-old boys look at their moms from time to time – like we’re absolutely crazy. Only this time, he was right. “I’m talking to Siri. My iPhone.”
He wants to marry his iPhone? I wasn’t entirely surprised. After all, he is addicted to the darn thing. At this point, I was just wondering when he was going to break it to the XBox that he was having an affair.
If you’re not familiar with Siri, she is the computer software installed on all factory iPhones. A cross between JARVIS from Iron Man and Rosie from the Jetsons, Siri helps with on-the-go questions.
Rather than typing everything into Google, just ask the phone a question – “Where do I get tacos?” “Where’s the nearest Wal-Mart?” or “Why is my son trying to marry an iPhone?” – and Siri replies with helpful information.
Siri’s programmers anticipated that iPhone users might ask some silly questions, and programmed her with some pretty sassy responses. Now, I always say: “Ask a stupid question and you get a stupid answer”, but sometimes Siri is just plain mouthy! Only without an actual mouth.
For those of you who are iPhone users, go ahead and see how cheeky Siri gets with you. Or borrow a friend’s phone and ask Siri the same questions my son, Denver, asked. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want a girl with that attitude marrying into MY family!
Even if she is just a phone.
Happy Tuesday,
Mary
