Almost a Billionaire

It’s Monday, and I’m in the office. You can safely assume that this means I did not, despite my best efforts, win the record $1.6 billion dollar Powerball jackpot a couple of weeks ago. To paraphrase one of my favorite comedians, James Gregory, you’d know if I won – you’d never see me again!


I know it’s silly to feel a sense of ownership over the lottery money, but no sooner did Dale and I buy our tickets than we started planning out what we’d do with the money – when we won, of course. Never if! Dream big, I say.

For me, it wasn’t anything too fancy. Pay off any debt owed by me or my parents, get a new vehicle for the family, donate plenty of money to St. Jude’s Children’s Cancer center, my charity of choice. But even all of that wouldn’t begin to make a real dent in those winnings. A billion dollars is a lot of money. A billion of anything is a lot!

To help you visualize the difference between a million and a billion, imagine this: one million seconds is about twelve days worth of time. One billion seconds is 31 – not 31 days, weeks, or even months. A billion seconds covers thirty-one years of time. While a million dollars is best carefully invested, with a billion you could buy your dream house, your dream car, and just about everything at The Sharper Image and not even come close to running out of money!

However, it’s important to remember that after taxes, those winners will be receiving a mere $940 million. And split three ways? More like $300 million. Gosh, is it even worth it if that’s all you get?

I’m kidding, of course! We bought our tickets during a trip to Tennessee back when the jackpot was $202 million. We were in it to win it, even then! That was long before the Powerball winnings crept up to break worldwide records with the billion-plus mark. The previous record-holder was a 2012 Mega Millions game, where the winners split their $656 million three ways.

If you happen to be one of the lucky winners and you’re reading this on your tablet from a tropical island somewhere, remember the advice of the professionals: hire a financial planner right away, and keep quiet about your winnings! People will be coming out of the woodwork to insist they’re your best friend and ask for money, and you don’t need that in your new, fabulous life…

…That being said, would you like to loan your favorite logistics provider a million or two?

Happy Monday,