I’ll Teach You a Lesson!

It’s back to school time once again! And while past blog posts have seen me fuss about crazy school supply lists, this year, I feel like I have to side with the teachers.


Maybe it’s because I have a senior in high school and a fourth grader this year, but I feel like they deserve more respect. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start complaining about ‘kids today.’ It’s that unexpected stick in the spokes of the academic wheel – the parents.

While kids today are just the same as they’ve always been (albeit with cooler gadgets), it’s parents who have changed a lot. Time was, parents got through years and years without even speaking to their kids’ teachers, but that’s no longer the case.

I can’t stop reading these crazy stories from teachers, sharing the wildest complaints they’ve ever heard from their students’ parents. Here are some of my favorites (with my commentary, of course):

A young teacher was threatened with murder by a student for not allowing the use of a phone charger. The teacher confronted the students’ mother about the student’s behavior. The parent’s response? “Oh yeah, her behavior and aggression vary with the phases of the moon.”

What is she – a werewolf? Sounds like that teacher should start stocking up on silver…


Or this parent, who, when confronted about their child’s lack of homework, offered a simple enough solution: “Caitlyn doesn’t feel like writing. She’ll just say the answers out-loud from now on.”

Wow! Is that an option? Can you imagine telling your boss you don’t feel like writing emails anymore – you’ll just shout the information from your desk?


In the internet age, plagiarism has become a real problem in classrooms. Teachers now have software especially designed to scan essays for repeated phrases, to ensure that a student hasn’t simply pilfered an essay from elsewhere on the internet and attempted to claim it as their own. The punishment for plagiarism at most schools starts with failing grades and can easily lead to expulsion. So when this lawyer dad was confronted with his kid’s plagiarism, his response was to dismiss the idea entirely, with the statement: “Intellectual property is a real gray area.”

Is it? Someone better tell the U.S. Copyright Office they can all go home for the year!

Now, I won’t say I’ve never stood up to an educator. As a matter of fact, I happily got on the school principal’s bad side when I let her know that my son, Denver was not to be touched by his teacher with a paddle.

See, here in Alabama, corporal punishment is still an option in public schools. Now, far be it from me to determine how any parent handles their kids, but no teacher is going to paddle my son. So maybe I was the hotheaded parent, and maybe that principal went home complaining to her spouse about me. (At least I didn’t Post-It note her car!) It’s moments like these that I can almost sympathize with some of these crazier parents.


After all, they’re your precious babies, and you want to know that they’re doing well at school. Even better – you want them to be as happy as you are that they’re finally back in school!

Happy Monday,