What I Really Want This Christmas

It’s a season for giving, and as I pointed out in my post about GoFundMe success stories, we should try to give in some way every day of the year. I’ve also learned that asking is just as important as giving.

You may remember a post about a Rejection Therapy exercise the Matchmaker Logistics team did a couple of years ago. (It’s worth re-reading just for the joke at the end!) The exercise can easily be summed up with this quote from Roger Ellerton, author of Win-Win Influence: “Ask for what you want! Give other people the opportunity to say ‘yes’. Stop saying ‘no’ for them.”

Two years ago, we went out into public and asked people for seemingly ludicrous things expecting a “no”. What we found is that most people want to help and were willing to say “yes!”. We were the ones saying “no” for them. Funny how we do that, isn’t it?

Earlier this year, I joined a local chapter of the professional networking group, BNI. BNI operates on a principle called Givers Gain®. It is essentially a philosophy based on the law of reciprocity. The members of the networking group dedicate themselves to giving referrals to their fellow group members. And by doing so, they wind up getting more business for themselves.


We meet each week, to give, to learn, to practice perfecting our 60-second introduction (sometimes referred to as an ‘elevator pitch’) and, of course, to ask for the kinds of referrals we want others to give us:

I’m looking to connect with business people whose shipments require a high-level of service. Instead of focusing on just the lowest price upfront, they need the care and attention that will help them avoid unnecessary delays, damage or drayage fees which reduce their overall costs in the long run.

What I’ve learned about myself over the past couple of years is that, like most people, I find it easier to give than to ask for what I want. (But I’m getting better at flexing both ‘muscles’!)

Take for example, these weekly posts. For more than 260 weeks, I’ve tried to give you a few laughs and plenty of “fuel” for thought about our industry, current events, and life, in general. Although I’ve occasionally asked for things on behalf of others – like lending your support to readers’ charitable events because, well, they asked me to! – I’ve never directly asked for what I want. So here it is – what I want more than anything this Christmas:

Getting a referral is the highest compliment one can receive. Will you introduce me to any shippers who work with challenging or complex freight? I’d love to reach out to them to discuss their shipping headaches. My goal? To give, first and foremost, to anyone I meet. In our first conversation, I won’t try to sell them on anything. I just want to help by asking some thought-provoking questions and offering a few ideas on different approaches that just might solve their shipping hassles. Please email or call me – this number rings into my personal cell: 1-800-849-0197, x123 – and let me know who you think I should meet.

And you? What do you want for Christmas this year? Is there any way I can help you? I encourage you to ask….

Make your Wish List (and consider mine!) this weekend,