Sick As A Dog

sickThere’s nothing worse than being sick. Actually, maybe there is – being sick and having no medicine. I know all about this, thanks to a series of respiratory illnesses and my beloved Great Dane, Carly.

As you may remember from Mondays past, Carly has an affinity for eating odd household items – like comforters, pillows, loveseat cushions, and…refrigerator magnets. My allergies have been worse than ever this year, and after I crawled out of bed to get some sweet over-the-counter relief, I found the remains of Carly’s latest treat: an empty box of Allegra.

I won’t dog shame Carly – it’s my job to make sure she can’t reach all of the things she’s not supposed to gobble up (even is she is over five feet tall when standing on her hind legs!). And apparently, she felt bad for eating an entire 36-caplet box of allergy meds. She even hid the evidence under her bed.

I was upset. And extremely congested. But thankfully, Carly was perfectly fine. I couldn’t believe she didn’t pass out or end up at the vet having her stomach pumped. As I learned, dogs can stomach significantly higher doses of allergy meds than humans. Grapes, macadamia nuts, and onions, on the other hand, are highly toxic to canines.

sickI’ve been sick as a dog for a while now. I blame Las Vegas. At the beginning of August, I traveled to the City of Lights to compete in the 2018 Amateur Billiards World Championships (y’all know how much I love pool!). As an Alabamian, I’m no stranger to heat, but high temperatures combined with zero humidity in the desert were rough. On top of the desert climate, Las Vegas was covered in dust and sandstorms. Imagine being hit by sand in your face at 60 mph. Not pleasant. On top of that, the usually gorgeous skyline was filled with smoke from wildfires burning in California. This was not included in the brochure. Unsurprisingly, I returned home with the worst souvenir: a respiratory infection coupled with bronchitis had me barking up a lung.

By the time Hurricane Florence hit, I had almost recovered. In the wake of the storm, I rallied with friends to collect recovery supplies and drove a U-Haul to North Carolina before spending a week working at Matchmaker Logistics corporate headquarters. The post-hurricane climate meant flowers blooming out of season, dampness, and mold spores in the air. Then came the pneumonia, and three different antibiotics.

Two weeks later, I’m finally starting to feel like a human again. Right in time for flu season. So, here’s my warning, friends: get your flu shot. If you really want to be hardcore, wear a face mask. And, remember to hide your meds from your pets.

Happy Monday,