Friday morning, I was in the midst of my regular morning routine, when my son announced that his bus hadn’t come. I would have to drive him to school, which meant that I would be a few minutes late for work.
I called my colleague, Pam, to let her know about the delay while locking up the house, when my purse got caught on the strike plate of the door and threw me off balance. Next thing I knew, I was flying down the two dozen stairs that lead to our front door. I hit my head so hard that when I landed, I literally saw stars. I sustained a severe concussion. And, I broke my left foot. Again.
Seven years ago, when I was eight-and-a-half months pregnant with my youngest, Timothy, I fell in the parking lot of Matchmaker Logistics headquarters on my way into work and….you guessed it…broke my left foot.
Thankfully, Pam heard the entire thing. Otherwise, I think my boss, Bob, would have wondered if “I broke my left foot” was code for “I just don’t feel like working for the next week…”
While nursing my concussion this weekend, I got to thinking about other crazy excuses people have used to get out of work. Here are some of the best (allegedly real) ones that I found online:
I won’t be making it in to work today because:
• A refrigerator fell on me.
• I fell out of bed and broke my nose.
• My child stuck a mint up his nose and I have to go to the ER so they can remove it.
• I drank anti-freeze by mistake and need to go to the hospital.
• My dog hid my car keys.
• There’s a snake on my porch so I can’t leave the house.
• My wife got a bad dye job and I have to stay home to provide moral support.
• I spent my last cent at BINGO last night and I don’t have any money left for gas.
• My home is flooded and I’m currently standing on my dresser in my second story bedroom.
• Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
• I tried to dye my hair blonde, but it came out green!
• The springs on the garage door broke, the door won’t open, and I can’t get the car out.
• I can’t find my clothes.
Happy Monday,
-Mary
