Two weeks ago, I traveled to Texas to meet with some of our shipping customers. You expect big things when you travel to Texas – ten gallon hats, Texas-sized steaks, and summer temperatures that are off the charts. I suppose, on some level, I was expecting armadillos, too, but I wasn’t ready for the Texas-sized silliness surrounding them.
See, they’re known by another name down there – Texas speed bumps. These funny-looking creatures have a bad habit of crossing the road really slowly, causing them to get hit by cars on a fairly regular basis. While that armor is strong enough to just sort of bump them onto their backs, it’s not quite strong enough to save them, so they end up immortalized in a silly cartoonish pose: flat on their backs, four feet in the air.
Certain creative Texans have taken it upon themselves to turn these little guys into creative memorials. For example, these well-wishers who tied balloons to the armadillo’s feet.
Or the Texans, who turn roadkill into armadillo beer bottle holders, suggesting a more comical narrative for their demise:
There are those that do respect these odd little mammals, however. The 2014 World Cup in Brazil made an armadillo their official mascot! It makes sense for a soccer tournament – the armadillo’s best defense is rolling up into a ball.
They’re beneficial to humans, as well! Armadillos are one of the only predators that naturally eats backyard pest of the South – fire ants. I’d let one hang out in my backyard if it meant less of those red, burning bites!
And if you don’t respect armadillos after that, perhaps the story of Larry McElroy will change your tune. Strange but true: Larry is a Georgia resident, who was sitting on the porch with his 74-year-old mother-in-law when he decided to open fire on an armadillo in his yard. He discharged his 9mm pistol, which ricocheted off of the armadillo’s natural armor and into Larry’s mother-in-law, wounding her.
Either way, you have to respect the armadillo – for having armor tough enough to stop a bullet, or for being cool with Larry’s alibi when the police showed up to ask him why he shot his mother-in-law!
Happy Monday,
~Mary
