On Friday, Bob talked about “good” selling versus “bad” selling, which made me think of the door-to-door salespeople who often come to our house to demonstrate their products. 
Personally, I subscribe to the philosophy I’ve seen on this popular door sign:
We are too broke to buy anything.
We already know who we are voting for.
We have found Jesus.
Unless you are selling thin mints, please go away!
But, my husband, Dale, has another take on the profession. If anybody shows up on his doorstep asking to clean or vacuum something, he’s going to show them inside and offer them some sweet tea! But one day, despite the fact that there was no cleaning on offer, Dale allowed a fast-talking ADT alarm system salesman in the house. After Dale had served the salesman a glass of Kool-Aid, the salesman began his pitch. He was willing to install the system for “free” with just a $49 per month alarm-monitoring fee if we’d place the “free” ADT sign in our yard and keep it there. Dale was about to take the bait when the salesman announced there was also a one-time $99 equipment fee.
“Well then”, Dale replied. “It ain’t free.”
After some negotiation and a lengthy discussion about the definition of the word “free”, the salesman said that he was authorized to waive the $99 equipment fee…if we’d sign a 3-year contract for the alarm monitoring.
My husband replied, “Sure. We’d be happy to sign your contract as soon as you sign the one we have for you.”
“A contract for me?”, asked the salesperson. “Why would I need to sign a contract?”
Dale answered: “Well, if we’re going to commit to three years of payments for the “free” alarm system, we’d like you to commit to paying rent for the “free” land where we’ll be placing your ADT sign.”
That guy left and never came back. Which reminds me of a joke:
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
“Good morning,” said the young man. “If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.”
“Go away!” said the old lady. “I’m broke and haven’t got any money!”
She started to close the door, but quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. “Don’t be too hasty!” he said. “Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.” And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. “If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, ma’am, I will personally eat what’s left.”
The old lady stepped back and said, “Well let me get you a fork, because they cut off my electricity this morning.”
Happy Monday,
Mary
