Archive for the Just Another Mary Monday Category

Manure for Sale

On Friday, Bob talked about “good” selling versus “bad” selling, which made me think of the door-to-door salespeople who often come to our house to demonstrate their products. Personally, I subscribe to the philosophy I’ve seen on this popular door sign: We are too broke to buy anything. We already know who we are voting for. We have found Jesus. Unless you are selling thin mints, please go away! But, my husband, Dale, has another take on the profession. If anybody shows up on his doorstep asking to clean or vacuum something, he’s going

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Revealing My Middle Name

Some people hide their middle names. Others prefer them: Ashton Kutcher, Debra Winger, Reese Witherspoon, Bruce Willis, Sean Connery, Clark Gable–all use their middle names, not their first. Historically, middle names are a relatively new trend. They didn’t become popular until the middle of 19th century. In fact, only 3 of our first 17 presidents carried middle names: John Quincy Adams, William Henry Harrison, and James Knox Polk. These days, most modern people (and Presidents) sport middle names or at least initials. Speaking of initials, did you know that Michael J. Fox’s middle name

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Pig Skins and Pork Rinds

In only five days time, history will be made–history that will have a huge impact on my household. For the first time ever, the West Virginia Mountaineers and the Alabama Crimson Tide will do battle on the football field. The two teams will play at this Saturday’s Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game at the Georgia Dome. What a way to kick off the college football season! Since Alabama and West Virginia has never played each other, our allegiances have never been an issue. But this weekend, I’ll be rooting for Alabama and my husband, Dale, will

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Divine Intervention in the Clearance Aisle

Ask me to name my greatest skills, and “clearance shopping” will be high on the list. My husband may be a better shot during deer season, but when it comes to bargain hunting, I win, hands down. If you need proof, check out some of my trophies: Expensive laundry detergent for just 94-cents a bottle. A few dozen rolls of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet tissue at half-price. A $75 hockey jersey I scored at Ross for my youngest child, marked all the way down to $3.99. Who cares if no one in Alabama knows

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A Picture Perfect Pizza

“No one cares what you had for lunch.” When social media first started gaining momentum, this was a common criticism. But years later, millions of social media users disprove this every day, posting and commenting on pictures of what they are cooking, eating, or drinking. In fact, Instagram reports upwards of 50 million Americans share post food photos each day, enough to warrant its own term: “foodstagramming.” Recently, I was one of those foodstagramming fools. For dinner one night, I made homemade pizzas for my family. They were a huge hit, and I was

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When Donkeys Fly…

I blinked and it was over. I can say that about the summer (my kids go back to school this Thursday!), but unfortunately, the same cannot be said about the terrors of back-to-school shopping. Forget Wild Kingdom. If you’re looking for hours of savage entertainment, just go to the Back-to-School aisle in Target the Saturday before school starts and watch the parents fight over that last yellow folder. It seems that every year, the list of necessary school supplies gets longer and more complicated. The kids need red folders, blue folders and yellow folders

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Bad News Comes in Threes

Let’s face it. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Some people get really upset when Monday mornings roll around. To be clear, I’m not upset that it’s Monday. I’m upset that I have to change out of my pajamas and put real clothes back on. I’m also upset because I didn’t get a tenth of what I set out to accomplish done this weekend. I did, however, find the time to watch a commercial for the Lipton Tea company. They say they feel my pain. This summer (through September

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Stop with the Selfies Already!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary announced that it has added several new words, including “selfie,” defined as “an image of oneself taken by oneself using a digital camera especially for posting on social networks.” Perhaps my favorite response to this news was when Chevy Chase tweeted: “Twerking and Selfie have officially been added to the dictionary. Future and Optimism have been removed.” We all have that friend who posts way too many selfies on Facebook as if they look different from the 47 others they’ve posted this year or as if we somehow forgot what they

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Ready, Set, Mow!

When I was a kid, mowing the lawn was my job. There are seven kids in my family, so how I ended up pushing a mower across an acre of land once a week for $5 bucks is one of those mysteries of the universe. If I complained about the job (and oh, did I complain!) my dad would tell me I could always use a pair of tweezers instead. If I waited too long, hoping Dad would let me off the hook, and it got dark, he just handed me a flashlight and

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Caught Red-Handed

A few days ago I was in my son Timothy’s room, putting away some clean laundry, when I saw a smudge on his wall. My first thought was, “Oh no, not again,” but when I looked closer and realized it was just a shadow, I sighed with relief. You see, our Timothy is known for being a bit of a Picasso, with an artistic flair that makes me proud and nervous at the same time. When Timothy was in kindergarten, he decided to draw on his desk…with a permanent marker. You can guess how that turned

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