Archive for the Just Another Mary Monday Category

Divine Intervention in the Clearance Aisle

Ask me to name my greatest skills, and “clearance shopping” will be high on the list. My husband may be a better shot during deer season, but when it comes to bargain hunting, I win, hands down. If you need proof, check out some of my trophies: Expensive laundry detergent for just 94-cents a bottle. A few dozen rolls of Charmin Ultra Soft toilet tissue at half-price. A $75 hockey jersey I scored at Ross for my youngest child, marked all the way down to $3.99. Who cares if no one in Alabama knows

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A Picture Perfect Pizza

“No one cares what you had for lunch.” When social media first started gaining momentum, this was a common criticism. But years later, millions of social media users disprove this every day, posting and commenting on pictures of what they are cooking, eating, or drinking. In fact, Instagram reports upwards of 50 million Americans share post food photos each day, enough to warrant its own term: “foodstagramming.” Recently, I was one of those foodstagramming fools. For dinner one night, I made homemade pizzas for my family. They were a huge hit, and I was

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When Donkeys Fly…

I blinked and it was over. I can say that about the summer (my kids go back to school this Thursday!), but unfortunately, the same cannot be said about the terrors of back-to-school shopping. Forget Wild Kingdom. If you’re looking for hours of savage entertainment, just go to the Back-to-School aisle in Target the Saturday before school starts and watch the parents fight over that last yellow folder. It seems that every year, the list of necessary school supplies gets longer and more complicated. The kids need red folders, blue folders and yellow folders

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Bad News Comes in Threes

Let’s face it. The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. Some people get really upset when Monday mornings roll around. To be clear, I’m not upset that it’s Monday. I’m upset that I have to change out of my pajamas and put real clothes back on. I’m also upset because I didn’t get a tenth of what I set out to accomplish done this weekend. I did, however, find the time to watch a commercial for the Lipton Tea company. They say they feel my pain. This summer (through September

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Stop with the Selfies Already!

The Merriam-Webster dictionary announced that it has added several new words, including “selfie,” defined as “an image of oneself taken by oneself using a digital camera especially for posting on social networks.” Perhaps my favorite response to this news was when Chevy Chase tweeted: “Twerking and Selfie have officially been added to the dictionary. Future and Optimism have been removed.” We all have that friend who posts way too many selfies on Facebook as if they look different from the 47 others they’ve posted this year or as if we somehow forgot what they

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Ready, Set, Mow!

When I was a kid, mowing the lawn was my job. There are seven kids in my family, so how I ended up pushing a mower across an acre of land once a week for $5 bucks is one of those mysteries of the universe. If I complained about the job (and oh, did I complain!) my dad would tell me I could always use a pair of tweezers instead. If I waited too long, hoping Dad would let me off the hook, and it got dark, he just handed me a flashlight and

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Caught Red-Handed

A few days ago I was in my son Timothy’s room, putting away some clean laundry, when I saw a smudge on his wall. My first thought was, “Oh no, not again,” but when I looked closer and realized it was just a shadow, I sighed with relief. You see, our Timothy is known for being a bit of a Picasso, with an artistic flair that makes me proud and nervous at the same time. When Timothy was in kindergarten, he decided to draw on his desk…with a permanent marker. You can guess how that turned

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The Cat’s Meow

Have you ever had one of those days where you look at your pet and think, “I’d sure like to have his life.” Our 11-year-old, 20-pound cat, Sir Sir is sort of like Garfield – large, in charge, and always looking for his next meal. When it’s finally feeding time, he likes to lie down in front of his food bowl and eat one morsel of dry food at a time. Shasta, on the other hand, our 6-year-old Pomeagle (Pomeranian and Beagle mix) gulps down her dinner the second the bowl hits the floor, while

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Behind the Wheel at 16

Today, my oldest son, Denver celebrates his 16th birthday. Where has the time gone? It seems like just yesterday he driving his “little tikes” car around our yard; now, he will be driving his F-150 on the road. As a birthday present, we’re giving Denver his Dad’s 2006 truck; friends and family gave him (much appreciated) gas money. Denver is proving to be a good driver, but that isn’t stopping my husband from wanting to put a bumper sticker on the back of the truck that reads: “How’s my driving? Call Dad at __________

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Starting Monday Off On the Right Foot

Want to drive your friends and co-workers crazy? Issue this little mind-boggling challenge. I couldn’t believe it when I tried it myself, and if you’re anywhere near as stubborn as I am, you will keep trying to see if you can outsmart your foot. Trust me, you can’t. 1) While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. 2) Now, while doing this, draw the number ‘6’ in the air with your right hand. 3) Your foot will change direction. And there’s nothing you can do about

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