Archive for the Just Another Mary Monday Category

Watch Instant Karma Work Its Magic

Watch Instant Karma Work Its Magic

So, we’ve all had this experience: an inconsiderate driver cuts you off in the parking lot just to steal the space you were waiting for, and then what?  Basically… nothing. As your blood boils and you hold back a stream of cuss words, you tell yourself that *someday* karma will get him for you. Then, you drive on like the mature, not-road-raging adult that you are.  What’s better, though? When karma swoops right in and does its work right in front of you.  For instance, one man who’d just gotten cut off by somebody in the

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Just For The Records

Just For The Records

On a recent trip to Walmart, I was launched down memory lane when I saw a surprising addition to their inventory: vinyl records! I could hardly contain my excitement or nostalgia. As a child, I remember sitting by a huge stereo and listening to music on the record player with my family. My dad played this game with us where he’d put on a mystery record and we had to guess who the artist was. One time, when I was about six years old, I knew the song and the artist’s first name, but for the life

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GRITS And Football Games

GRITS And Football Games

Most days, I aim to be a sweet and charming gentlewoman of the South, but when game day comes around, all bets are off. As many of you already know, last week Alabama (ranked #1) and Clemson (#2) faced off at the College Football National Championship. Both teams came in undefeated, but our quarterback threw two interceptions and Clemson…well, let’s just say I feel no need to share the final score. I was hot, and bothered, and upset, and I had no idea what to do with myself except for prep for next season.

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All I Want For Christmas

All I Want For Christmas

Surprise! It’s not Monday, but I’ve got a JAMM for you (in fact the last one until 2019). Tomorrow’s the first day of winter, and with Christmas around the corner, I am up to my Santa hat in holiday spirit (read: multiple plays per day of my favorite Christmas classic: Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.”) This song is, in my humble opinion, a perfect Christmas song. You’ve got energized sleigh bells shakin’, the fire of Carey’s romantic desire, a jazzy chorus, and oooooooooh those falsettos! As it turns out, everybody’s in

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A Christmas Poo Poo Platter

A Christmas Poo Poo Platter

Admittedly, I’m not always on top of the next new in-thing, so if I’m a little late to the party, my apologies. Last week, I discovered the Squatty Potty. Apparently, toilet posture affects your digestive health – and squatting beats sitting. If you’re struggling to find a gift for those hard-to-shop-for relatives, might I make an under-$25 suggestion? You can give the gift of a happy colon, for a happy life! Even business guru Lori from the Shark Tank bought in. These days, my fellow Americans aren’t shy about anything – including digestive health. In fact, one of

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Whatever Floats Your Goat

Whatever Floats Your Goat

This story, like so many of my misadventures, starts with my beloved husband Dale (whom, I might add, wholeheartedly supports my columns about him). Some background: Dale has had his share of driving mishaps. Last year, for instance, he ran over his sister’s goat. Thankfully, we see everything with a sense of humor in our family – even the death of a sweet goat. Dale paid his sister so she could buy a new goat, and he also earned a new nickname: Goat Killer. It’s become a long-running joke – one of our great friends even

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Windshield Woes

Windshield Woes

A bird poops on your head, a cup of hot coffee spills on your lap, a mischievous Great Dane destroys your favorite refrigerator magnets… While totally out of our control, such random, unforeseen events can still put a damper on your day. Take the other Sunday. I was driving my beautiful new Ford truck on the way to play pool (my favorite pastime, as you know), when a small rock struck my windshield. That little rock left a big, bullet-sized dent. While this may sound like just another small frustration, I’ve got a long history with

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Sick As A Dog

Sick As A Dog

There’s nothing worse than being sick. Actually, maybe there is – being sick and having no medicine. I know all about this, thanks to a series of respiratory illnesses and my beloved Great Dane, Carly. As you may remember from Mondays past, Carly has an affinity for eating odd household items – like comforters, pillows, loveseat cushions, and…refrigerator magnets. My allergies have been worse than ever this year, and after I crawled out of bed to get some sweet over-the-counter relief, I found the remains of Carly’s latest treat: an empty box of Allegra.

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Hurricane Helpers

Hurricane Helpers

In times of trouble, you can’t go wrong with a healthy dose of Mr. Rogers. If anyone can find a silver lining in a hurricane, it’s a friendly, red cardigan-wearing puppeteer who can calmly explain divorce to children. So, in the wake of Hurricane Florence, I turned to our friendly neighbor for some much-needed advice. As he said, “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”” So I went looking. And, as

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Hungry For Success

Hungry For Success

I’ve been starting my Mondays off at Matchmaker Logistics for the past seventeen years – that’s eight hundred and eighty-seven Mondays for those keeping score at home. I’m lucky to spend my Monday mornings doing something I love. But not everyone is as lucky as I’ve been. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the average American switches jobs every 4.2 years. And while the prospect of the grass being greener in another position is often tempting, the job search itself can be exhausting. In the age of the Internet, job searches aren’t limited to the locals

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